No man wants to hear their wife saying that she would rather go to bed with a good book!
Who stole my sex drive: my husband wants it back! The chances are that if you have come across this site, then you too might be wondering why you are feeling the way you are feeling. The menopause covers such a broad range of different conditions and feelings that it is impossible to say that what happens for one woman will happen for all. Unfortunately good ole Momma Nature doesn’t make things that easy for us! And who said that women are the weaker sex? There is no way men could function with some of the things we have happening to us from puberty through to menopause, (and beyond)!
Just to let you all know where I stand on this. I’m 52 years old and am lucky enough to have a lovely, handsome toy-boy husband who has just turned 40! Every woman’s dream you might think, but that is not always the case! Don’t get me wrong here, I absolutely adore him, but let’s just face facts. The fact that he is 12 years younger than me tends to mean that his sex drive is higher than mine and he doesn’t get tired as easily as I do.
If I could definitively say that I was going through the menopause, then it might be easier to explain to him how I feel. But the truth is that I honestly don’t know where I am as regards to that, as I had to have a hysterectomy three years ago due to ongoing period problems. I had been bleeding constantly for around 2 years before I had the op. I don’t (at the moment!) have any symptoms associated with menopause as in hot flushes, depression and mood swings etc. and the last time my estrogen levels were checked, they were still ‘normal’, (whatever ‘normal’ is…I personally hate that word!) This ‘normal’ reading would indicate that I am still ovulating and that my hormones should be working pretty much the same way in which they have always done.
If that’s true, why then do I not want to have sex with my (in my opinion,) decidedly sexy husband? How do I explain that to him when the doctors have no answers for me? I have to tell you here ladies that it is by no means an easy conversation to have. Not that I am shy in these matters, (or I probably wouldn’t be talking about it here!) but it is still not an easy thing to tell your partner. No man wants to hear their wife saying that she would rather go to bed with a good book, and that the only thing she wants in her mouth is a bar of chocolate!
And yet for me I have something of a dichotomy; once I ‘get going’, then I am okay…it is simply a case of almost ‘forcing’ myself to make the effort at times. And it is just that, you know, an effort. So if you are feeling a little like me and not sure whether you are peri-, post- or menopausal, and it all seems too much like hard work, then you have found the right place to stop and read for a while. Go and put the kettle on, come back with a nice cup of coffee, prop your feet up and read on…