The first time I heard the phrase "Flash Mob,” I thought they were talking about an angry mob of menopausal women...
The first time I heard the phrase “Flash Mob,” I thought they were talking about an angry but adorable mob of women hot flashing at the same time. Thought I might join the club. No such luck, though it would be fun to form a hot flash mob and dance to music seemingly written just for us.
You know, we could dance to songs like This Girl Is on Fire by Alicia Keys and She’s On Fire by Train. When I first heard those songs, I thought, whew, thank goodness I’m not all alone!
Or how about Bitch by Meredith Brooks. The lyrics are perfect for us: “I can understand how you’d be so confused. I don’t envy you. I’m a little bit of everything all rolled into one. I’m a bitch, I’m a lover. I’m a child, I’m a mother. I’m a sinner, I’m a saint. I do not feel ashamed. I’m your hell, I’m your dream. I’m nothing in between.”
Amen, sister, right?
Add to the list some appropriate song titles for us Menopausal Madwomen: Up All Night by One Direction, Moody Blue by Elvis Presley, Maneater by Hall & Oates, and Losing Your Memory by Ryan Star.
However, I think my favorite menopause song of all just might be Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne when he sings: “Life’s a bitter shame. I’m going off the rails on a crazy train.”
It’s a whole new world. Menopause is even out of the closet and into the musical videosphere. If you don’t believe me, just check out “Menopause to Blame” or the menopause rap song “Don’t Touch Me.” Pretty funny stuff. Although, I admit, not exactly “mainstream”…
And last but not least, we now have the classic, Menopause The Musical. I haven’t seen this play but it sounds like a lot of fun with parodies of songs from the Boomer era. The music pays tribute to hot flashes, memory lapses, weight gain, insomnia, night sweats, cellulite, the lure of cosmetic surgery, and the frightening necessity of exercise. Sound familiar?
I looked up a few of the songs with their lyrics:
I’m Flashing: I’m flashing, just flashing and the glow is not my jewels. I didn’t know that the change could be so cruel. They tell me, feeling flushed is part of passing through, but I just soaked another blouse that’s new.”
Sign of the Times: ”It’s a sign of the times. When your roots are gray and your memory’s shorter. It’s a sign of the times. When your hourglass shape becomes a glass of water.”
The Fat Gram Song: The lumps don’t move. How can I stop where the fat grams go?
This Is Your Day: No girl does it all by herself. No, friend, put your pride on the shelf.
Yup, we’re in this together, ladies. Let’s not be shy or vain. Let’s listen to our menopause music, proudly lay it all out there, and we can help each other through this ride on the crazy train.
Baby boomers who want to learn more about finding their bliss, can visit Julie’s blog.