I don’t care if wine makes my hot flashes worse. I don’t care if wine makes me fatter and my Buddha belly bulge.
Warning, Will Rogers! I will whine if you mess with my wine.
I don’t care if wine makes my hot flashes worse. I don’t care if wine makes me fatter and my Buddha belly bulge. I don’t care if wine makes me more dehydrated contributing to my already dry, itchy skin. And I don’t care if wine makes my fuzzy brain even fuzzier.
Leave me alone!
Ever since menopause hit, my friends and family don’t even ask questions. When I visit, they just start pouring. My neighbors know that I can hear a wine cork popping from 100 yards away and anticipate an impromptu visit to borrow “a cup of sugar.” My ever-patient husband greets every menopausal meltdown with the phrase: “Here, have some wine.”
Like everything else, of course, I blame menopause for becoming a wine enthusiast. Oh, I would love to say that I’m handling menopause in some kind of sophisticated yoga, meditation, exercise way or that I use one of those other trendy relaxation techniques to relieve stress. But it’s hard to prove that point when I’m on my second glass of wine right now.
Besides, can’t we count running late to happy hour as exercise? And in menopausal land, doesn’t a balanced diet mean a glass of wine in each hand? And didn’t I read somewhere that we don’t want to look at the glass half empty?
I’m not alone, and as always, I find that fact reassuring. How do I know? Because there are actually menopause wine charms, bottle wine chillers, and flasks just for us menopause madams (http://www.cafepress.com.au/+menopause-humor+wine-charms) with humorous tags such as “Something’s making me hot. Unfortunately it’s not you.” And “Warning! Woman Under the Influence of Testosterone.”
And let’s not forget about Hot Flash Wine (http://hotflashwines.com/wines/), and yes, there’s actually such a thing, with labels like Mood Swing Merlot, Covers Off Chardonnay and Zin-o-Pause. (Well, there MIGHT be, no surprise, last time I checked, they were out of stock! No surprise, right?)
So ‘fess up. Hasn’t your appreciation for fine wine increased since good ol’ menopause took up residence in your body? The answer to all of menopause woes may not be at the bottom of a wine glass, but most of us check.
Baby boomers who want to learn more about finding their bliss, can visit Julie’s blog.