HotFlashDaily is about helping you make the best of a very challenging transition.
Because life doesn't pause during menopause.

Author Archives: Lynne Fairchild

Weekly Be Wise Check-In

Weekly Be Wise Check-In

These questions help keep me centered and resourceful,  and they remind me to be compassionate with myself.

It’s the weekend, and I’m doing my weekly check-in. I want to share a part of my process, because it might be helpful to those of you who are in menopause.

When we are in menopause, it’s so important to treat ourselves with care and compassion.

These questions help keep me centered and resourceful,  and they remind me to be compassionate with myself.

  • How much am I remembering that this life transition is a journey, and that I am a hero?
  • How well am I managing the stress of my life transition?
  • What non-essentials (inner and outer) did I let go, this week?
  • How am I using my inner compass to find my way?
  • How have I allowed the energy and power of my true self to support me?
  • How have I claimed the authority of my own voice and truth?
  • In what ways am I making my unique contribution to my world?

It’s important to do this check-in with no self-judgement, just curiosity. Be compassionate with yourself when you ask these questions.

The answers will provide you with at least two important things:

  1. Celebration! Savor and appreciate what you are doing well, how you are nourishing yourself.
  2. What can you tweak for the next week, that will help support you even more?

 

This Way Home

This Way Home

Savoring the present moment might be just what the Universe ordered!

What Divine Reminders do you get in the middle of your day?

The Home Button on my iPhone is working only intermittently. The Home Button is essential to the functionality of the phone and everything else on it. I’ll obviously need to replace it, but not before the Universe has gifted me with some key lessons about being present.

Who knew the degree of wisdom that’s available from technology failure, right?

Being With What Is.

We’re on our morning walk, and it is so hot. I can’t wait to find out when it is going to warm up, so I reach for my iPhone to find out. Until I remember the faulty Home Button. No going into the future for me. I’m practicing Being With Scorching Weather instead.

Savoring the Present Moment.

In the middle of my reverie, my husband says something along the lines of: “This weather is crap. When is it going to get better?” (We have both made rather a hobby of grousing about the weather lately.) No phone. An invitation for us both to Savor the Present Moment, and catch the swallows swooping within inches of us.

Regular Moments of Silence.

I’ve developed the efficient but unfortunate habit of taking care of a few new emails when I am out in the yard with my dogs on their constitutional breaks, during the middle of the day. How many of us do something like that? Come on, true confessions. Elevators? Standing in line? On that short bus or taxi ride? Now, in the moments when I don’t have my smart phone available, I breathe, and relish the sounds and feel of nature. I play with my dogs.

More Time Communing with the Divine.

Now, every time I find myself pulling the phone out and reaching for the Home Button, I take a long, deep, luxurious breath instead, and allow myself to really come Home, to my True Home.

I have been gifted with a habit of being more present, and living more alive, than I was before the Home Button “failure,” and I now have a choice. When I get my new phone, which way will I go?

I’m guessing that we all get Love Letters from the Universe during our days. The question is: do you see them?

 

What’s In Your Manifesto?

What’s In Your Manifesto?

What matters now? What is it time for? What do you want to pay more attention to?

A manifesto is a statement of intention. It is a set of promises to ourselves.

When we are going through periods of change in our lives, as in menopause, it can be really helpful to know what matters most.

Menopause can stop us in our tracks and make us reconsider what matters most.

The practice of having a manifesto, and reflecting on it from time to time, can be very grounding. It can bring us back “home” to what is really important to us, especially during those times when life feels out of control.

Here’s a manifesto that I wrote a few years ago.

Lynne’s Manifesto

  • Be kinder to myself
  • Give myself time and reflection
  • Tap into my inner wisdom
  • Know who I am and be me
  • Explore and find my path
  • Have a vision that inspires me
  • Discover my passion and purpose
  • Be present in my life
  • Know what matters and live it boldly
  • Cultivate my health and energy
  • Invite laughter, love, and joy
  • Make a difference
  • Be present to those I love
  • Take in the joy that’s in my life
  • Let my life shine

The questions that I asked myself in order to create the manifesto were:

  • What do I want to pay more attention to?
  • What matters now?
  • What is it time for?

I offer it to you as a starting place if you would like to write your own manifesto, and use it to guide you in your life. (I would make it a little shorter if I did it over again, so don’t think length is part of the goal!)

What’s in your manifesto? Set aside time to create the one that reflects what really matters to you.

Wither? Oh Hell No. Wake Up!

Wither? Oh Hell No. Wake Up!

What I choose is...increasing creativity, contribution, and love-of-life in Aging.

For a couple of years now, I’ve been pondering Aging. Not in a morose way, but in a questioning, challenging way. Menopause and midlife will do that to you.

I have been throwing down a challenge to our mainstream cultural beliefs that generally hold that Aging is a slow but steady process of physical and mental deterioration, diminishment of energy, and a dampening of our passion for life. A withering. Who wants to sign up for that?

And, why does it have to be that way? My clients, friends and colleagues are thriving examples of increasing creativity, contribution, and love-of-life in Aging.

As I was thinking about it, I realized something very powerful: I choose. I choose.

I choose to Wither or Wake Up. This is a choice that I can make in every moment. I may not choose my life circumstances or events, but I do choose my response to them.

Wither or Wake Up.

What do you choose to wake up to?

The End is Just the Beginning

The End is Just the Beginning

It is likely that we have many more years to create, and a freedom to explore what that might look like.

Menopause, whether it is welcome to us or not, is an ending. For many of us, if not most, it is a bittersweet time because it signals the end of our reproductive time of life.

Many of us must grieve this ending.

And, as with so many endings in our lives, this ending is also a powerful beginning.

Children will not be born through us anymore, but our creative essence remains strong and powerfully alive, even if we have never thought of ourselves as creative.

It is likely that we have many more years to create, and a freedom to explore what that might look like. It will be different in each of us.

Where do we start to explore this possibility?

I would invite you to ask your soul this question:

What still wants to be born through me?

In your private sacred space, just sit with that question. Allow space and quiet and time for your soul to whisper. This may not be a familiar question, but it is a powerful one.

Permission to Not Know

Permission to Not Know

Try Not Knowing, and Not Having to Know. Just for a while. See what happens.

Consciously changing your perspective is a powerful tool that you can use to relieve stress. The way you choose to think about something, or the perspective you hold about it, determines how you feel about it. This isn’t about making stuff up in a Pollyanna sort of a way, it’s about finding what else might be true, and consciously choosing to hold a perspective that helps you feel more empowered. Since there is a lot about menopause that is outside of our control, it’s important for us to get control of what we can, because it will help us to relieve overall stress. Here’s an example of a change of perspective. The perspective that most of us hold about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is that we should know what to do. This perspective leads us to striving to figure it out, whatever decision we ultimately make. This sense of urgency and holding ourselves accountable for making the right decision creates stress. What if, instead, we hold the perspective that it is OK not to know? What if we give ourselves full permission to not know? Try it out. Someone asks you, “Are you going to use HRT?”

“I don’t know.”

“When will you know?”

“I don’t know when I’ll know.”

Uncomfortable? Seriously, we are not used to Not Knowing in this culture. It’s not an answer that is usually well-received, because those who love you want you to feel better. And you want to feel better. Here’s the paradox.  When you give yourself complete permission to Not Know, until you do Know, it does two things. First, it gives you relief from the urgency, and from searching, figuring it out, trying to fix it right now. This gives you breathing room right away. Second, and even more important, when you let yourself Not Know, you create an inner white board of receptivity, and your intuition can begin to give you messages about what steps to take next. When you are truly willing to Not Know, you are open to that deeper part of yourself, your inner wisdom, guiding you. Then you listen for inner nudging and inspirations. It takes practice and courage to be in the space of Not Knowing, but, paradoxically, most often, the right routes and solutions come faster when you give yourself that space. So, experiment with it. Try Not Knowing, and Not Having to Know. Just for a while. See what happens.

Lynne Fairchild is a Professional Certified Coach who helps women navigate midlife and menopause at http://wayfindingcoach.com/.

You’re a Hero

You’re a Hero

Menopause is the ultimate retrieval of our true powers. It's a Hero's Journey, and you are the hero.

Menopause is the ultimate retrieval of our true powers. It’s a Hero’s Journey, and you are the hero.

Menopause can feel lonely, disorienting, and confusing. You no longer know who you are or where you are going. You don’t have a plan, but you think you should have one.

Here’s the truth: when you are in an unfamiliar territory of life, like peri-menopause or menopause, there is no plan.

If you had a plan, it would be somebody else’s plan. Even though menopause is something that every woman eventually goes through, every woman’s journey is unique.

When there is no plan, you can feel powerless and overwhelmed.

That’s the last thing you want to feel when you’re in an important life transition, so what do you do with that?

The Hero’s Journey myth shows us what to do. It shows us:

  • how to navigate the unknown territory of our own menopause with authenticity and grace, rather than powerlessness
  • how to reconnect with our own internal source of power, wisdom, clarity, and energy.

If you’re in menopause, you’re on a Hero’s Journey. When you know that, everything changes.

Hero’s Journeys are about the retrieval of your true powers, your inner wisdom.

When you know that menopause is a Hero’s Journey, rather than you just being catapulted headlong into an unwanted change, now you are a hero, with a sense of purpose, on a sacred journey. It changes everything. Heroes have their inner wisdom to guide them in their journey.

As you connect with your inner wisdom, you know what to do, and you can find your way, step by step. You can move through your menopause with clarity, power, and focus.

The Hero’s Journey is a myth that is common across cultures, worldwide.

The hero leaves their known world and ventures out into unknown territory. He/she (gender is irrelevant) encounters monsters and dragons, helpers and wizards, and digs deeply within herself to discover her true powers, in order to deal with the new challenges along the way.

As a result, she finds who she really is, and she brings this understanding and wisdom back into her world. Now she creates her life in a way that is most authentic to her. And, she has received gifts from her Hero’s Journey that she will share with her community, making a contribution that is meaningful and purposeful to her.

How does this help you now?

You’re a hero. Heroes have certain tasks that they do to find their way when they are in unknown territory.

Even though you don’t have a plan for your menopause (this emerges, step-by-step), you have definite things to do, in order to move through menopause in an authentic and empowered way.

What do you do?

Here’s what a hero does when they are on a journey of life transition like menopause:

  • Regain a feeling of control; acknowledge that it’s a journey and that you are a hero.
  • Manage the stress of your menopause.
  • Let go of the non-essentials of  your life, inner and outer.
  • Navigate the unknown territory of menopause, using your inner compass.
  • Embody and sustain the authentic power and energy of your True Self.
  • Claim the authority of your own voice and truth.
  • Make your unique contribution to your world, giving you a sense of meaning and purpose.

When you are empowered, rather than overwhelmed, everything changes, because you have access to the inner and outer resources that you need.

How is menopause different for you when you think of it as a Hero’s Journey? What possibilities open up for you, that may not have been there before?

Your Journey

Your Journey

Where are you in your Hero's Journey of Menopause?

Where are you in your Hero’s Journey of Menopause?

Here are the stages of menopause as the Hero’s Journey:

Hearing the Call
You begin experiencing the symptoms of peri-menopause. You know that you and your life are going to change.

“This is happening to me. I can’t do anything about it. I didn’t choose it.”

Refusing the Call
You know that change can be disorienting and uncomfortable, so you resist the change.

“I don’t want to go. I’m not ready. This can’t really be happening to me.”

Preparing for Your Journey
You now know you’re entering full-blown menopause, like it or not. So you look at what you need to take and what you must leave behind.

“What can I do? What’s within my control? What am I losing? What do I need?”

Navigating the Unknown Territory
You embark into this unknown territory of menopause. You’ve never been here before, and you need to find a way to navigate, because there is no map.

“I think I ought to have a plan, but there isn’t one. Any plan is someone else’s, because my journey is unique. Who am I now? Where am I, and where am I going? How do I navigate this?”

Receiving Gifts from Your Journey
You meet your challenges with heretofore unrecognized inner resources. You transform by learning valuable lessons and skills about yourself and your life. You connect with your spiritual resources of joy, ease, energy, wisdom, clarity, intuition, and creativity.

“I connect to my True Self, my inner powers and my authentic voice.”

Returning to Your Community
You complete your menopause, and, metaphorically, you have returned home. This is a homecoming to your authentic self. You share your valuable gifts and lessons with your community. You are a Wisdom Woman.

“I contribute my gifts and live with a sense of meaning and purpose.”

Where are you?

Now that you have a sense for where you are in your Hero’s Journey (the inner journey), how do you find your way through your menopause (the outer journey), especially when there is no plan?

The Wisdom of the Hero’s Journey

The wisdom of the Hero’s Journey teaches us some important truths about being in a life transition such as menopause.

There is no map (or plan) for your menopause, and that’s ok. In fact, that’s normal. If you had a plan, it would be someone else’s plan. You’ve never been here before. Your own plan will emerge along the way, step-by-step. Permission to not know.

You have everything you need, inside of you, to find your way. You were born with it. It’s your internal guidance system, and you just need to know how to access it, and how to use it consistently and reliably (most of us have never learned this).

It really is about the journey, not the destination. The tendency in our culture is to do everything you can to fix our circumstance or situation, and as fast as you can. Your menopause is about your transformation: finding your true inner powers.  Then, not only can you navigate your menopause, you can also navigate your life, through anything that circumstances present to you.

There are some specific tools to help you find your way in your journey. Once you are familiar with these, you won’t feel so lost, and you will know what to do to find your way. Some examples of these tools are meditation, guided visualization, and journaling.

When you have completed your Hero’s Journey, you will have tapped into the authentic power and energy of your True Self. You will have a unique contribution to make to your community that gives you meaning and purpose. There are some incredibly valuable and surprising gifts in any transition, especially menopause.

Stay tuned to this site and this page, and we’ll share some insight, tools, and processes to help you navigate the unknown territory of your menopause, with clarity, power, and focus.

What You Need

What You Need

What Will You Need on Your Hero's Journey?

When you know that your menopause is a sacred journey, a Hero’s Journey, you now know that you are a hero in a quest for her full powers, rather than an unwilling participant in a major change in yourself and your life.

Actually, during menopause, it’s likely that we will feel each of these two things, depending upon the day, or even the time of day. All journeys have their ups and downs, and it is natural for us to feel both ways. Both can be true for us.

However, when we can remember that we are heroes, despite how we might be feeling on any particular day, we will feel more empowered in our journey.

What do we need to be heroes, on our menopause journey? What will support us in remembering the larger context of what is really going on, that this is a sacred time and a sacred journey for us?

Three things will be essential in supporting us:

  • Perspective
  • Practices
  • Tools

On this page of Hot Flash Daily, I’ll be writing about these three things, so that during all of the ups and downs of menopause, you can remember that you are a hero, and that you are on a sacred journey.

Perspective

The perspective of menopause as a hero’s journey is a powerful one, because it reminds us that we are on a quest to retrieve our full creative powers.

We are in control of our choices and responses.

Accessing our internal spiritual resources, which is something that heroes do, gives us clarity, power, energy, and focus.

We are heroes on a journey to know our full, authentic powers, intuition, and creativity.

We have an important and unique contribution to make, that will give us a sense of meaning and purpose. Our journey is one of discovering the nature of that contribution.

Why is perspective important and useful for you?

Consciously changing your perspective is a powerful tool that you can use to remain empowered, in any situation. The way you choose to think about something, or the perspective you hold about it, determines how you feel about it.

This isn’t about making stuff up in a Pollyanna sort of a way, it’s about finding what else might be true, and consciously choosing to hold a perspective that helps you feel more empowered.

I’ll be writing about perspective, and offering some alternate perspectives for you to consider that may not be a part of our mainstream cultural beliefs about menopause.

Practices

Practices are what will help us move through our menopause journeys with clarity, power, and focus.

They are the things we do regularly to remain empowered in our journey, and to sustain our energy.

The Hero’s Journey myth helps us understand what practices will have the most impact for us.

Here are the ones I will be writing about, and inviting you to try. These are what heroes do.

  • Regain a feeling of control; acknowledge that it’s a journey and that you are a hero.
  • Manage the stress of your menopause.
  • Let go of the non-essentials of  your life, inner and outer.
  • Navigate the unknown territory of menopause, using your inner compass.
  • Embody and sustain the authentic power and energy of your True Self.
  • Claim the authority of your own voice and truth.
  • Make your unique contribution to your world, giving you a sense of meaning and purpose.

Tools

Tools are what we need in order to do our practices.

As I share tools with you, you can play with them to see which ones suit you best.

Here are some examples of the types of tools that I will be offering for you to try:

  • Guided visualization
  • Written, guided journaling
  • Creative journaling, using collage
  • Intentions
  • Visioning

These tools will help you use your intuition to guide you in your menopause journey.

Our inner guidance is our most powerful tool for navigating the unknown territory of menopause.

Most of us haven’t learned to access our inner guidance effectively and reliably, or, if we have learned it, we don’t  access it very consistently. It isn’t something that is widely encouraged and supported in our culture, but it is absolutely available to all of us.

It is truly your secret power in menopause.

I hope you’ll stay tuned to this page for information on perspectives, practices and tools. I look forward to traveling this journey with you! I’ve been there, I know it gets better, and I want to be there for you.

Author Archives: Lynne Fairchild

Weekly Be Wise Check-In

Weekly Be Wise Check-In

These questions help keep me centered and resourceful,  and they remind me to be compassionate with myself.

It’s the weekend, and I’m doing my weekly check-in. I want to share a part of my process, because it might be helpful to those of you who are in menopause.

When we are in menopause, it’s so important to treat ourselves with care and compassion.

These questions help keep me centered and resourceful,  and they remind me to be compassionate with myself.

  • How much am I remembering that this life transition is a journey, and that I am a hero?
  • How well am I managing the stress of my life transition?
  • What non-essentials (inner and outer) did I let go, this week?
  • How am I using my inner compass to find my way?
  • How have I allowed the energy and power of my true self to support me?
  • How have I claimed the authority of my own voice and truth?
  • In what ways am I making my unique contribution to my world?

It’s important to do this check-in with no self-judgement, just curiosity. Be compassionate with yourself when you ask these questions.

The answers will provide you with at least two important things:

  1. Celebration! Savor and appreciate what you are doing well, how you are nourishing yourself.
  2. What can you tweak for the next week, that will help support you even more?

 

This Way Home

This Way Home

Savoring the present moment might be just what the Universe ordered!

What Divine Reminders do you get in the middle of your day?

The Home Button on my iPhone is working only intermittently. The Home Button is essential to the functionality of the phone and everything else on it. I’ll obviously need to replace it, but not before the Universe has gifted me with some key lessons about being present.

Who knew the degree of wisdom that’s available from technology failure, right?

Being With What Is.

We’re on our morning walk, and it is so hot. I can’t wait to find out when it is going to warm up, so I reach for my iPhone to find out. Until I remember the faulty Home Button. No going into the future for me. I’m practicing Being With Scorching Weather instead.

Savoring the Present Moment.

In the middle of my reverie, my husband says something along the lines of: “This weather is crap. When is it going to get better?” (We have both made rather a hobby of grousing about the weather lately.) No phone. An invitation for us both to Savor the Present Moment, and catch the swallows swooping within inches of us.

Regular Moments of Silence.

I’ve developed the efficient but unfortunate habit of taking care of a few new emails when I am out in the yard with my dogs on their constitutional breaks, during the middle of the day. How many of us do something like that? Come on, true confessions. Elevators? Standing in line? On that short bus or taxi ride? Now, in the moments when I don’t have my smart phone available, I breathe, and relish the sounds and feel of nature. I play with my dogs.

More Time Communing with the Divine.

Now, every time I find myself pulling the phone out and reaching for the Home Button, I take a long, deep, luxurious breath instead, and allow myself to really come Home, to my True Home.

I have been gifted with a habit of being more present, and living more alive, than I was before the Home Button “failure,” and I now have a choice. When I get my new phone, which way will I go?

I’m guessing that we all get Love Letters from the Universe during our days. The question is: do you see them?

 

What’s In Your Manifesto?

What’s In Your Manifesto?

What matters now? What is it time for? What do you want to pay more attention to?

A manifesto is a statement of intention. It is a set of promises to ourselves.

When we are going through periods of change in our lives, as in menopause, it can be really helpful to know what matters most.

Menopause can stop us in our tracks and make us reconsider what matters most.

The practice of having a manifesto, and reflecting on it from time to time, can be very grounding. It can bring us back “home” to what is really important to us, especially during those times when life feels out of control.

Here’s a manifesto that I wrote a few years ago.

Lynne’s Manifesto

  • Be kinder to myself
  • Give myself time and reflection
  • Tap into my inner wisdom
  • Know who I am and be me
  • Explore and find my path
  • Have a vision that inspires me
  • Discover my passion and purpose
  • Be present in my life
  • Know what matters and live it boldly
  • Cultivate my health and energy
  • Invite laughter, love, and joy
  • Make a difference
  • Be present to those I love
  • Take in the joy that’s in my life
  • Let my life shine

The questions that I asked myself in order to create the manifesto were:

  • What do I want to pay more attention to?
  • What matters now?
  • What is it time for?

I offer it to you as a starting place if you would like to write your own manifesto, and use it to guide you in your life. (I would make it a little shorter if I did it over again, so don’t think length is part of the goal!)

What’s in your manifesto? Set aside time to create the one that reflects what really matters to you.

Wither? Oh Hell No. Wake Up!

Wither? Oh Hell No. Wake Up!

What I choose is...increasing creativity, contribution, and love-of-life in Aging.

For a couple of years now, I’ve been pondering Aging. Not in a morose way, but in a questioning, challenging way. Menopause and midlife will do that to you.

I have been throwing down a challenge to our mainstream cultural beliefs that generally hold that Aging is a slow but steady process of physical and mental deterioration, diminishment of energy, and a dampening of our passion for life. A withering. Who wants to sign up for that?

And, why does it have to be that way? My clients, friends and colleagues are thriving examples of increasing creativity, contribution, and love-of-life in Aging.

As I was thinking about it, I realized something very powerful: I choose. I choose.

I choose to Wither or Wake Up. This is a choice that I can make in every moment. I may not choose my life circumstances or events, but I do choose my response to them.

Wither or Wake Up.

What do you choose to wake up to?

The End is Just the Beginning

The End is Just the Beginning

It is likely that we have many more years to create, and a freedom to explore what that might look like.

Menopause, whether it is welcome to us or not, is an ending. For many of us, if not most, it is a bittersweet time because it signals the end of our reproductive time of life.

Many of us must grieve this ending.

And, as with so many endings in our lives, this ending is also a powerful beginning.

Children will not be born through us anymore, but our creative essence remains strong and powerfully alive, even if we have never thought of ourselves as creative.

It is likely that we have many more years to create, and a freedom to explore what that might look like. It will be different in each of us.

Where do we start to explore this possibility?

I would invite you to ask your soul this question:

What still wants to be born through me?

In your private sacred space, just sit with that question. Allow space and quiet and time for your soul to whisper. This may not be a familiar question, but it is a powerful one.

Permission to Not Know

Permission to Not Know

Try Not Knowing, and Not Having to Know. Just for a while. See what happens.

Consciously changing your perspective is a powerful tool that you can use to relieve stress. The way you choose to think about something, or the perspective you hold about it, determines how you feel about it. This isn’t about making stuff up in a Pollyanna sort of a way, it’s about finding what else might be true, and consciously choosing to hold a perspective that helps you feel more empowered. Since there is a lot about menopause that is outside of our control, it’s important for us to get control of what we can, because it will help us to relieve overall stress. Here’s an example of a change of perspective. The perspective that most of us hold about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is that we should know what to do. This perspective leads us to striving to figure it out, whatever decision we ultimately make. This sense of urgency and holding ourselves accountable for making the right decision creates stress. What if, instead, we hold the perspective that it is OK not to know? What if we give ourselves full permission to not know? Try it out. Someone asks you, “Are you going to use HRT?”

“I don’t know.”

“When will you know?”

“I don’t know when I’ll know.”

Uncomfortable? Seriously, we are not used to Not Knowing in this culture. It’s not an answer that is usually well-received, because those who love you want you to feel better. And you want to feel better. Here’s the paradox.  When you give yourself complete permission to Not Know, until you do Know, it does two things. First, it gives you relief from the urgency, and from searching, figuring it out, trying to fix it right now. This gives you breathing room right away. Second, and even more important, when you let yourself Not Know, you create an inner white board of receptivity, and your intuition can begin to give you messages about what steps to take next. When you are truly willing to Not Know, you are open to that deeper part of yourself, your inner wisdom, guiding you. Then you listen for inner nudging and inspirations. It takes practice and courage to be in the space of Not Knowing, but, paradoxically, most often, the right routes and solutions come faster when you give yourself that space. So, experiment with it. Try Not Knowing, and Not Having to Know. Just for a while. See what happens.

Lynne Fairchild is a Professional Certified Coach who helps women navigate midlife and menopause at http://wayfindingcoach.com/.

You’re a Hero

You’re a Hero

Menopause is the ultimate retrieval of our true powers. It's a Hero's Journey, and you are the hero.

Menopause is the ultimate retrieval of our true powers. It’s a Hero’s Journey, and you are the hero.

Menopause can feel lonely, disorienting, and confusing. You no longer know who you are or where you are going. You don’t have a plan, but you think you should have one.

Here’s the truth: when you are in an unfamiliar territory of life, like peri-menopause or menopause, there is no plan.

If you had a plan, it would be somebody else’s plan. Even though menopause is something that every woman eventually goes through, every woman’s journey is unique.

When there is no plan, you can feel powerless and overwhelmed.

That’s the last thing you want to feel when you’re in an important life transition, so what do you do with that?

The Hero’s Journey myth shows us what to do. It shows us:

  • how to navigate the unknown territory of our own menopause with authenticity and grace, rather than powerlessness
  • how to reconnect with our own internal source of power, wisdom, clarity, and energy.

If you’re in menopause, you’re on a Hero’s Journey. When you know that, everything changes.

Hero’s Journeys are about the retrieval of your true powers, your inner wisdom.

When you know that menopause is a Hero’s Journey, rather than you just being catapulted headlong into an unwanted change, now you are a hero, with a sense of purpose, on a sacred journey. It changes everything. Heroes have their inner wisdom to guide them in their journey.

As you connect with your inner wisdom, you know what to do, and you can find your way, step by step. You can move through your menopause with clarity, power, and focus.

The Hero’s Journey is a myth that is common across cultures, worldwide.

The hero leaves their known world and ventures out into unknown territory. He/she (gender is irrelevant) encounters monsters and dragons, helpers and wizards, and digs deeply within herself to discover her true powers, in order to deal with the new challenges along the way.

As a result, she finds who she really is, and she brings this understanding and wisdom back into her world. Now she creates her life in a way that is most authentic to her. And, she has received gifts from her Hero’s Journey that she will share with her community, making a contribution that is meaningful and purposeful to her.

How does this help you now?

You’re a hero. Heroes have certain tasks that they do to find their way when they are in unknown territory.

Even though you don’t have a plan for your menopause (this emerges, step-by-step), you have definite things to do, in order to move through menopause in an authentic and empowered way.

What do you do?

Here’s what a hero does when they are on a journey of life transition like menopause:

  • Regain a feeling of control; acknowledge that it’s a journey and that you are a hero.
  • Manage the stress of your menopause.
  • Let go of the non-essentials of  your life, inner and outer.
  • Navigate the unknown territory of menopause, using your inner compass.
  • Embody and sustain the authentic power and energy of your True Self.
  • Claim the authority of your own voice and truth.
  • Make your unique contribution to your world, giving you a sense of meaning and purpose.

When you are empowered, rather than overwhelmed, everything changes, because you have access to the inner and outer resources that you need.

How is menopause different for you when you think of it as a Hero’s Journey? What possibilities open up for you, that may not have been there before?

Your Journey

Your Journey

Where are you in your Hero's Journey of Menopause?

Where are you in your Hero’s Journey of Menopause?

Here are the stages of menopause as the Hero’s Journey:

Hearing the Call
You begin experiencing the symptoms of peri-menopause. You know that you and your life are going to change.

“This is happening to me. I can’t do anything about it. I didn’t choose it.”

Refusing the Call
You know that change can be disorienting and uncomfortable, so you resist the change.

“I don’t want to go. I’m not ready. This can’t really be happening to me.”

Preparing for Your Journey
You now know you’re entering full-blown menopause, like it or not. So you look at what you need to take and what you must leave behind.

“What can I do? What’s within my control? What am I losing? What do I need?”

Navigating the Unknown Territory
You embark into this unknown territory of menopause. You’ve never been here before, and you need to find a way to navigate, because there is no map.

“I think I ought to have a plan, but there isn’t one. Any plan is someone else’s, because my journey is unique. Who am I now? Where am I, and where am I going? How do I navigate this?”

Receiving Gifts from Your Journey
You meet your challenges with heretofore unrecognized inner resources. You transform by learning valuable lessons and skills about yourself and your life. You connect with your spiritual resources of joy, ease, energy, wisdom, clarity, intuition, and creativity.

“I connect to my True Self, my inner powers and my authentic voice.”

Returning to Your Community
You complete your menopause, and, metaphorically, you have returned home. This is a homecoming to your authentic self. You share your valuable gifts and lessons with your community. You are a Wisdom Woman.

“I contribute my gifts and live with a sense of meaning and purpose.”

Where are you?

Now that you have a sense for where you are in your Hero’s Journey (the inner journey), how do you find your way through your menopause (the outer journey), especially when there is no plan?

The Wisdom of the Hero’s Journey

The wisdom of the Hero’s Journey teaches us some important truths about being in a life transition such as menopause.

There is no map (or plan) for your menopause, and that’s ok. In fact, that’s normal. If you had a plan, it would be someone else’s plan. You’ve never been here before. Your own plan will emerge along the way, step-by-step. Permission to not know.

You have everything you need, inside of you, to find your way. You were born with it. It’s your internal guidance system, and you just need to know how to access it, and how to use it consistently and reliably (most of us have never learned this).

It really is about the journey, not the destination. The tendency in our culture is to do everything you can to fix our circumstance or situation, and as fast as you can. Your menopause is about your transformation: finding your true inner powers.  Then, not only can you navigate your menopause, you can also navigate your life, through anything that circumstances present to you.

There are some specific tools to help you find your way in your journey. Once you are familiar with these, you won’t feel so lost, and you will know what to do to find your way. Some examples of these tools are meditation, guided visualization, and journaling.

When you have completed your Hero’s Journey, you will have tapped into the authentic power and energy of your True Self. You will have a unique contribution to make to your community that gives you meaning and purpose. There are some incredibly valuable and surprising gifts in any transition, especially menopause.

Stay tuned to this site and this page, and we’ll share some insight, tools, and processes to help you navigate the unknown territory of your menopause, with clarity, power, and focus.

What You Need

What You Need

What Will You Need on Your Hero's Journey?

When you know that your menopause is a sacred journey, a Hero’s Journey, you now know that you are a hero in a quest for her full powers, rather than an unwilling participant in a major change in yourself and your life.

Actually, during menopause, it’s likely that we will feel each of these two things, depending upon the day, or even the time of day. All journeys have their ups and downs, and it is natural for us to feel both ways. Both can be true for us.

However, when we can remember that we are heroes, despite how we might be feeling on any particular day, we will feel more empowered in our journey.

What do we need to be heroes, on our menopause journey? What will support us in remembering the larger context of what is really going on, that this is a sacred time and a sacred journey for us?

Three things will be essential in supporting us:

  • Perspective
  • Practices
  • Tools

On this page of Hot Flash Daily, I’ll be writing about these three things, so that during all of the ups and downs of menopause, you can remember that you are a hero, and that you are on a sacred journey.

Perspective

The perspective of menopause as a hero’s journey is a powerful one, because it reminds us that we are on a quest to retrieve our full creative powers.

We are in control of our choices and responses.

Accessing our internal spiritual resources, which is something that heroes do, gives us clarity, power, energy, and focus.

We are heroes on a journey to know our full, authentic powers, intuition, and creativity.

We have an important and unique contribution to make, that will give us a sense of meaning and purpose. Our journey is one of discovering the nature of that contribution.

Why is perspective important and useful for you?

Consciously changing your perspective is a powerful tool that you can use to remain empowered, in any situation. The way you choose to think about something, or the perspective you hold about it, determines how you feel about it.

This isn’t about making stuff up in a Pollyanna sort of a way, it’s about finding what else might be true, and consciously choosing to hold a perspective that helps you feel more empowered.

I’ll be writing about perspective, and offering some alternate perspectives for you to consider that may not be a part of our mainstream cultural beliefs about menopause.

Practices

Practices are what will help us move through our menopause journeys with clarity, power, and focus.

They are the things we do regularly to remain empowered in our journey, and to sustain our energy.

The Hero’s Journey myth helps us understand what practices will have the most impact for us.

Here are the ones I will be writing about, and inviting you to try. These are what heroes do.

  • Regain a feeling of control; acknowledge that it’s a journey and that you are a hero.
  • Manage the stress of your menopause.
  • Let go of the non-essentials of  your life, inner and outer.
  • Navigate the unknown territory of menopause, using your inner compass.
  • Embody and sustain the authentic power and energy of your True Self.
  • Claim the authority of your own voice and truth.
  • Make your unique contribution to your world, giving you a sense of meaning and purpose.

Tools

Tools are what we need in order to do our practices.

As I share tools with you, you can play with them to see which ones suit you best.

Here are some examples of the types of tools that I will be offering for you to try:

  • Guided visualization
  • Written, guided journaling
  • Creative journaling, using collage
  • Intentions
  • Visioning

These tools will help you use your intuition to guide you in your menopause journey.

Our inner guidance is our most powerful tool for navigating the unknown territory of menopause.

Most of us haven’t learned to access our inner guidance effectively and reliably, or, if we have learned it, we don’t  access it very consistently. It isn’t something that is widely encouraged and supported in our culture, but it is absolutely available to all of us.

It is truly your secret power in menopause.

I hope you’ll stay tuned to this page for information on perspectives, practices and tools. I look forward to traveling this journey with you! I’ve been there, I know it gets better, and I want to be there for you.

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Write for Hot Flash Daily.

Share your story? Advice? Ideas? Cartoons or videos you've created? We'd love your contribution.

Write for Hot Flash Daily.

Share your story? Advice? Ideas? Cartoons or videos you've created? We'd love your contribution.

©2016 Hot Flash Daily. All rights reserved.

©2016 Hot Flash Daily. All rights reserved.

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HotFlashDaily.com was created in the spirit of making every day your very best, even when you just don’t feel like it.

The site was conceived and built through the combined efforts of contributing bloggers, technicians, and impassioned women who believe the way we treat ourselves is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

We’re looking for true short stories for the website, and perhaps for inclusion in an e-book, from women who want to tell others about their experiences with peri-menopause, menopause, and beyond. We’re looking for experiences, ups/downs/unexpected highs and lows, sticky situations, “what I wish I’d known”, “what I’d tell my younger self”.. you name it!

Submissions should be first-person posts written in a blogging, editorial, or columnist style WITHOUT commercial links.

NOTE: Promotional, commercial articles (with links to commercial websites) will not be accepted for publication. Click here for the small print terms & conditions.

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