One minute the party’s in full force; the next, everybody’s crawling on hands and knees looking for aspirin, sunglasses and car keys.
Tiara Time: July 1-17
Might As Well Go Back to Bed: July 15
Detox: July 18-31
July has a split personality. The first half is Stereotypical Summer, woo to the hoo! Ignore your age and indulge your inner teen’s whims. Bask in the sun. Hang with pals. Test drive books, shows and activities that break from your norm. Ommmm away on the 8th and 13th. The vibes’ll deliver you to the right place at the right time. And if that includes standing at the counter of a specialty ice cream shop, don’t be an idiot and balk. Now is not the time to resist.
Resistance is for the second half of the month, when a cosmic fussbudget descends with Swiffer and Sani-Wipes in hand. One minute the party’s in full force; the next, everybody’s crawling on hands and knees looking for aspirin, sunglasses and car keys. When we right ourselves, all those delights we were so recently enjoying — carbs, sun exposure, butter fats and their evil twin transfats — have magically become musts to avoid. Bum-mer.
Then comes Christmas in July, Dickens style. Ghosts of Girlhood Past will be calling, through early September, to refresh and redeem your memories about love, money and self-worth. Old flames, BFF’s and jobs could cross your path, each bringing an opportunity to reassess how healthy they were for you. Or, more probably, were not.
When that process devolves into Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, tell that little fault-finding voice inside you to stifle it. Cue Edit Piaf’s “Je Ne Regrette Rien” and sing along, all the better if your accent would make a French teacher flinch. Fill that half empty glass full to the brim; refill as needed. Iced green tea, hell, even a wine spritzer will keep the fussbudget at bay. So will a massage. And a day at the spa. Let someone else work out the kinks in your muscles while you work out some in your past.
Playtime will return next month. Keep that tiara nearby; you’ll need it again then.